Always Faithful
by ExLibris3
Summary: Jen and Gibbs has been married for six years, but constant fighting threatens to break them up. The divorce is coming up, but when one of them backs out, will he or she be able to convince the other they deserve a second chance? Complete
1. Tears in the Night

_**So this will be my new fanfic…**_

_**Summary: Jen and Gibbs never broke up before, and they have now been married for six years. Ever since she became Director three months ago, their relationship has been very fragile and the divorce is just around the corner. What happens when one of them does not want to go through with the divorce and believes they deserve a second chance in their marriage? Will he/she be able to convince the other to not give up on them?**_

The bedroom was completely quiet; the curtains were drawn across the windows to prevent streetlights from shining in. In the double bed lay a married couple. But they didn't look like the kind of married couple that loved each other beyond belief and weren't able to keep their hands off each other even in sleep. It was the kind of married couple that surely still loved each other, but their constant fights and heated arguments threatened to separate them for life. They both lay with their backs to each other, their bodies resting near each edge of the bed, almost as far away from each other as they could get.

Jen stared into the darkness of the room, she couldn't sleep, and she hadn't been able to in many nights now. She glanced at her alarm clock, the red digital numbers showed 2.16 am. She sighed quietly, careful not to wake her husband. Her _husband_, frankly she wasn't sure for how long they would remain husband and wife. They always slept this separately, only after a day completely without arguments he would wrap his arms around her when they slept, and those days were so rare she doubted she would experience them ever again. The truth was that she missed him terribly, she missed his gentle touches and sweet kisses. Most of all she missed the sparkling passion in his eyes he always had had when he looked at her, now all she saw was the glittering of another argument coming up. She was sick of this, sick of never be able to hold her husband close and whisper into his ear how much she loved him, and hear those words back from his mouth. But their fights were too serious to ignore, and she feared the end was near for their marriage.

Gibbs also lay awake, he knew his wife was too, he heard her sighing and her breathing was too fast for her to be asleep. He wondered how they had come to this, he knew how it all had started, but he didn't understand how they had come to this. It had been three months now, three months since their fights had begun; three months since she had became Director of NCIS. Sure he was happy for her that she had come so far in her career, but he also wished she had never been offered the position, then maybe he right now would be lying with his arms wrapped tightly around her body, and they would have had a life without these godforsaken fights. He flashed back to the day he had been told she was the new Director.

"_I've been offered a deputy director's position at Homeland Security" the former Director Morrow had told him. It was right after the death of his team member Kate Todd. He and the Director were in MTAC._

"_You'd leave NCIS, sir?" Gibbs asked, surprised to hear those news._

"_Well, the agency could use some younger blood" he answered_

"_Well, who'd be replacing you sir?" Gibbs wondered, praying it would not be him, but the smile on Tom Morrows face worried him "Not me" he stated_

"_Much as I like you, Jethro, I would not shoot NCIS in the head. He's your problem now, Director" he said as he walked away from his agent. _

_Gibbs looked up and saw a very familiar woman stand up a few chairs ahead of him, she turned around and smiled at him._

"_Hello Jethro" she greeted him and he just stared at his wife._

"_Jenny?" his voice gave up his shock and her smile got wider._

"_Surprised to see me?" she knew he was, but couldn't help but to ask._

"_Surprised is a word that does come to mind" he told her and rose from his chair. He walked closer to her as he said "So, if I understand correctly, you're the new…"_

"_Director of NCIS? Yes I am. Any problems taking orders from me?" she asked teasingly._

"_As Director or as my wife?" he shot back, a smile playing subtly on his lips._

"_Either"_

"_I don't see a problem with it" he assured her and left a kiss on her cheek "But you are a damn good agent, Madam Director" he added and they smiled at each other._

Gibbs snapped out of the memory. He heard something, at first he couldn't understand what it was that he heard, but he quickly realized he was listening to his wife's silent crying.

"Jen?" his hoarse voice left his mouth as he didn't hesitate to turn around in bed to face her slightly shaking back. Even though they were in these big fights, when there came a moment when she was crying, he would loose all his anger with her and all he wanted to do was to comfort her.

"I'm sorry" she whispered through her sobs "Did I wake you?"

"No, I was already awake" he assured her and felt her flinch as he reach out his hand to caress her arm "It's ok, Jenny. Why are you crying?" he asked in a soft voice as he moved his body closer to hers. Jen felt him coming closer, and the intimacy scared her, even though they had been married for six years, it felt like a stranger was lying there behind her.

"I don't know" her raspy voice said, getting Gibbs even more worried.

"I think you do. Can't you just tell me, please? I'm here to help you, let me do so" he tried, even though she may have lost her trust for him, it was worth a shot.

"I don't know for how long I can go on with this" she finally said after a long silence.

"What do you mean?" he questioned, and she turned around to face him.

"I don't know for how many more nights I can lie awake, until I finally cry myself to sleep" she confessed to him, and judging by the look on his face, he had never caught her crying at night before.

"Jen…" he whispered softly and reached out his hand to caress her cheek. She closed her eyes and once again flinched at his touch. Gibbs withdrew his hand, sending her a look full of pain and confusion.

"When are we gonna realize this just doesn't work anymore? For how much longer are we gonna live with this curse upon us?" she said, her voice light and steady, but the tears fell faster from her eyes as she spoke.

Gibbs sighed, there was something in her words that made sense, he knew that, but it was just so hard to accept.

"I don't know for how much longer I can keep fighting with you, Jethro. It does not feel right, and I don't like it" she continued

"I don't like it either, believe me" he assured her, but she just shook her head against her pillow.

"I don't know if I believe you anymore" her words this time hurt him badly, but he knew all the reasons why she said so. Love and relationships had never been his strong side, and numerous times these past months he had told her everything would be fine, that they would get back on track again. But he had been wrong all along; all he had done was to making her stay with him, causing her pain to increase, both their pains actually.

"It won't help if I'd tell you I love you" he stated, and she once again shook her head.

"No, it won't" she confirmed "I think we just need to accept the fact that maybe our time is over. We have done all we could to make this work, but it doesn't, or I wouldn't be crying myself to sleep every night. I love you too, Jethro, I really do. But this just doesn't work" her voice was sad, and she now saw a tear roll down his cheek as well. She reached out and brushed it away gently.

"Maybe you're right" he finally gave in and sighed "Maybe it's time to let go" his voice caught in his throat, he knew what would come next, and his worst nightmare started to come true when she opened her mouth again.

"I think we should get divorced" she spoke with deep regret, but she knew it was for the best, she didn't want to divorce him, but she had no choice but to.

"Yeah, I doubt there's a way to fix this. I doubt we will ever be able to have what we once had" he sounded just as devastated, but he also knew it would be for the best.

"Can't you…just wrap your arms around me, sleep close to me one last time" she begged and instantly felt his arms slid around her body, holding her tightly against his chest. He rested his chin on top of her head, and she buried her face in his neck, inhaling his scent and enjoying his touch for probably the last time. Gibbs did the same, and at the same time, he let more tears fall and they dropped onto her hair.

The next morning, they would file for divorce…

_Ok, what do you think about all this? __Please review and give me your thoughts. Thanks for reading and I will update as soon as I can._


	2. Photographs and Memories

The next morning when Jen woke up, she found herself still in her husband's arms. When she glanced up at his face she could tell he was still asleep. She did not move, she didn't want to wake him up, or maybe she was afraid that if she did wake him, he would pull away. It was just such a long time since she had felt him lying close, and she wanted to enjoy this last night they would spend together. She remembered everything that had happened last night, and she did not regret it. Frankly she was relieved she had taken the big step to ask for divorce, otherwise neither would have dared to bring up the subject.

Jen felt her husband tighten his grip on her in his sleep, and she carefully drew her hand up and down his back. She felt his muscles tense at her gentle touch, and that was enough to cause him to wake up. He blinked a few times before looking down at the woman lying in his embrace.

"Morning" he said in a hoarse voice.

"Yeah, good morning" she replied sadly, and he understood why. He also remembered what had been said last night between them, and he found himself to be all for the idea.

They still lay wrapped around each other, but Jen felt he had loosened his grip on her a bit.

"So…I guess this is it for us" she whispered sadly and felt him nod.

"Yep, but I think it's the right decision. We just don't work together anymore" he said, the tone in his voice told her he had already given up, that he just kept his arms around her because she appeared to want them there. But she also knew he was right in what he said, the crack between them had just gotten wider and wider, and now it didn't seem to be any way to mend it.

Jen rolled out from the loose grip he had on her and sat up on the edge of the bed.

"I'm gonna go take a shower" she said and walked off to the bathroom. Gibbs stayed in bed, but he rolled over on his back and lay staring up onto the ceiling. He couldn't believe he had been so blind, he obviously hadn't noticed how bad their relation really was. He hadn't even known she cried herself to sleep in the nights, he hadn't realized she was so miserable in his presence. This divorce would be the right choice; she would be free from her misery. At the same time he couldn't help but to be angry with her for not letting him know how she felt earlier, now the divorce would fix their problems.

Jen had taken off her nightgown and stepped into the shower cabin to wash up. She turned the water on to hot, and the moment the warm water started to cascade down her body, her own tears started to fall and mixed with the water. They say that just before you die, you can see your entire life pass before your eyes, but in Jen's case, flashes of her life together with Gibbs came into her vision. She saw all the meaningful moments in their time together pass before her eyes. This was really the end, the end of an amazing experience. He had taught her so much, given her more than she ever had imagined she would get, he had shown her more love than she probably deserved, but she had returned the favour.

Ten minutes later Jen stepped out of the cabin, she had to cut the shower short if she was gonna get into work in time. She wrapped a towel around her body and turned her head to the mirror. Her long red hair appeared glued to her skin, her face was red and puffy from both her crying and the hot water. She met her own eyes in the reflection, and she saw nothing. There were no emotions and no life in her gaze. Was she really ready to let go of the man she loved so deeply? Would a break-up with him cause her to not only cry herself to sleep, but putting her into deep depression? She was very aware of the fact that it had been she who had proposed they would get a divorce. But maybe she hadn't thought he would agree…maybe she had hoped he still thought they would make it. A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts.

"It's open" she called out, and after a few seconds, the door slowly opened.

"Jenny?" came Gibbs hesitant voice. A hint of hope lit in her heart at the sound of his faint and careful voice.

"Yes Jethro?" she answered softly, curious to what he had come to tell her.

He opened the door widely, and his eyes found her. He looked up and down her body, realizing water was dropping around her feet and she only wore a towel. He shook his head.

"We can talk later, you get ready first. We can take this in the car" he excused himself, and before Jen even had a chance to argue, he had closed the door behind him. Frustrated she sat herself down on the toilet lid. One the other hand, maybe it would be good for them to start fresh, maybe they just weren't meant to be together. This thought made Jen start to cry again, she buried her face in her hands and cried. How? Why? Why was this happening to them? Only four months ago she could have sworn they were the perfect couple, but now…

Half-an-hour later, they were both sitting in the car on their way to work. They hadn't spoken much during the morning; merely a few words had escaped their lips over breakfast. Jen had glanced at him now and then, and he had looked like he had a lot on his mind. She decided she would now break their silent pattern.

"You said you wanted to talk to me" she stated and he took his eyes off the road for a brief second to glance at her.

"Right, I did" he confirmed, and Jen looked at him, waiting for him to talk. He sighed before opening his mouth again.

"We should get in touch with a divorce attorney as soon as possible, you shouldn't have to suffer any longer" he said and Jen felt cold inside.

"What do you mean?" she questioned, in what way did she suffer, other than not be able to show her love to her husband?

"Well, first of all, you cry yourself to sleep, and I didn't even notice. I think that is enough proof we can't go on anymore if I as a husband doesn't even see when my wife is hurting" he explained

"Do you think we could have managed if you had noticed?" she asked in a low voice, and he considered his answer for a moment.

"I honestly don't know Jen" he finally said "If we had managed to sort out our fights, then maybe we would have had a chance to get through"

"But we could try harder" she suddenly blurted out, and Gibbs glance at her again.

"It was your idea to get a divorce" he reminded her, and she was well aware of that.

"I know it was, but it was in the middle of the night, like you said I was crying, I was upset and it just seemed right at the moment. You know what? Instead of agreeing to the divorce, you could have…I don't know…not agreed" she argued, feeling a fight coming up once again.

"And exactly how would that have helped us? I have told you over and over these past months we will be fine, but you have never believed me, what difference would it have made if I had told you so last night?" he shot back, and she could hear how the anger rose inside of him. He had a point; she had to agree with that.

"I don't know, but it just feels so hard to let go" she confessed, her voice softened and she could tell his expression did too.

"I know what you mean, but what choice do we have? I think that if we want to be happy again, we have to go our separate ways" his voice got calmer as he spoke, and Jen felt the tears burning in her eyes.

"So we really are gonna go through with this?" she tried to keep her voice steady, but turned away from his as she saw him nodding.

"I don't think we have any other choice" he replied sadly, his past divorces had never been this difficult before, probably because the whole marriage itself had been a hell, and the divorce was the only way out of it. But this time it had been a marriage he had enjoyed every last second of, with a woman he loved very much, but they just didn't work together any more.

They spend the rest of their ride in silence, Jen didn't dare to talk because she was afraid she would start to cry again, and Gibbs kept quiet because he didn't want to accidentally say something that might upset her.

They finally arrived at the headquarters, and Gibbs parked the car in his usual parking space. Jen happily got out; she needed some space from him and the tension between them. Maybe they just needed to spend some time apart in order to realize how much they needed each other. Maybe they would be able to talk this through tonight; maybe they would fix this without getting a divorce. Those were her hopes for today, but now she just wanted to be alone, take her mind off him and their marriage, and work was a very good distraction.

They both checked in and stood waiting for the elevator together. Neither had spoken since they left the car, but once they had stepped into the elevator, Jen opened her mouth.

"How about we have a talk tonight, before we contact any divorce attorneys?" she suggested, and Gibbs turned to look at her.

"A talk? About what?" he questioned, and she couldn't help but to find him to be annoying.

"What do you think? Us, of course!" she answered, her tone quite cold.

"Right, well I suppose we could. But what is the point if you are using that tone with me?" he shot back

"Sorry about that, you just don't seem to take us seriously anymore" she said as he raised his eyebrow.

"I don't? You know what, I don't have time to fight with you now" he said coolly and stepped around her to get out through the doors that had just opened on his floor.

"Have a nice day, Director" she heard him saying before the doors shut. Jen sighed and put her hand to her forehead. She had learned to live with that sometimes he could be very difficult, but she had also learned to bring out his best sides. She knew so much about him, she knew all the pain he had gone through after his first wife and daughter had died, she knew how he reasoned in different situations, she knew what he liked and didn't like, and she had figured out how to get through to his good side. But when they fought, he would sometimes deny that she knew him so well, sometimes better than he knew himself.

She stepped out and walked toward her office. She glanced down over the squad room, and noticed Gibbs was on the phone. The next second he told his team to grab their gear, they were probably running off on a case, well, she would soon find out what it is about anyway.

"Good morning Director" Cynthia greeted her as she walked past her assistant.

"Good morning Cynthia" Jen said back and went into her office. She sat down in her chair and turned on her computer. The next second, Cynthia came in with a pile of files.

"Leave them on my table" Jen said before she had a chance to explain what they were.

"Ok ma'am" Cynthia said and dumped them on the table "Is there anything else ma'am?"

"No thank you" Jen dismissed her and closed her eyes as the door closed behind Cynthia. Jen sighed and decided it was time to start working and put her husband off her mind.

The day went on as usual, except for what was going on inside Gibbs head. That was so out of the normal it could get. Today, work just couldn't make him forget Jen, and what they were going through. When the clock was almost seven, he decided to pack up for today. He looked up and saw Jen stand at the railing, and he decided to go up to her.

Jen noticed Gibbs climbing the stairs up to her. In her mind she saw a quick glimpse of him taking her into his arms and kiss her passionately, and telling her there was no way in hell he would divorce her. But as he came closer, she realized it was just a dream, he looked extremely tired and his expression was serious.

"Hey honey" she said as he stood beside her. He glanced at her and nodded as she sighed.

"How was your day?" she tried again, and this time he raised his gaze and met hers.

"It has been…complicated" Gibbs answered, and Jen understood he was not referring to the case, but to what had been going on inside his head.

"I know" she told him "Are you ready to go home?"

"Yeah, I suppose so"

"Fine, let me just get my jacket and my suitcase" Jen said and started to walk off toward her office

"I'll wait in the car" Gibbs called after her and she stopped and turned around

"Ok, be right there" she turned back and hurried into her office.

Later that evening, when Jen was cleaning up after their dinner, she heard someone enter the kitchen. She glanced over her shoulder and saw her husband stand in the doorway. Jen turned back to the dishes. They hadn't spoken much during the evening, and she understood the talk was coming up next. She knew she was right when she heard him clear his throat behind her.

"You said you wanted to talk tonight" Gibbs reminded her and Jen put down the plate she was holding.

"Yeah, I did" she reached out and grabbed her wedding ring that she had laid on the sink while doing the dishes and put it back onto her finger before she turned to face him.

"Start talking" Gibbs encouraged her, and Jen bit her lip as she avoided looking at him.

"I don't know where to begin" she stated and Gibbs sighed.

"You're the one that wanted to talk, I though you had something to say" he said rather coolly, but immediately regretted the tone of voice he had chosen

"Well, I don't think I do. I was hoping we could solve this together, as a couple. All married couples have their share of rough patches, some chose divorce, others fight to get back to what they were, or better. I just hope you'd tell me we are fighters" she shot back just as coolly.

"Maybe we just aren't…" he started

"Meant to be?" she cut him off and he nodded "Bull. We have managed damn well these six years we've been married. Everything we've done, everything we've felt, are you saying that was for nothing?"

"No, it was great while it lasted, and I'm glad we lasted so long"

"But you're ready to let go now? You know, if you hadn't been such a bastard right now, we could have had a future together!" Jen burst out angrily, causing the fury to rise in him as well.

"Oh, so it's my fault we are like this? You don't think it's because of you? Think about it Jen, ever since you became Director, all we have done, is arguing. Maybe this is your fault" he knew he sounded juvenile, but he just couldn't stand it that she was blaming him for all this.

"Or it's you who has a problem with taking orders from your wife!" she matched his anger, but softened her voice as she added "If you had a problem with me becoming Director, you should have told me"

"That's not it" he said, his voice was softer too as he finally took a step closer to her "I'm proud of you, Jenny. I'm impressed by what you have achieved, but somehow it managed to destroy our marriage"

"How did this happen?" Jen asked, her voice low and shaking.

"I don't know Jenny" he walked up to her and hesitantly placed his hands on her shoulders "I do not know"

"But we can't go on like this, we are not communicating anymore" he added, and against her will, she had to agree with that.

"I'm kind of tired, I think I'm going to bed" Jen said and withdrew herself from his hands. Her whole body protested against the action, but she knew she could not feel his touches any longer without wanting more from him, and she didn't want to be dismissed by him, which she knew he would do if she tried to kiss him.

"Yeah, me too I think" he said and together they walked out from the kitchen and up the stairs.

Jen froze the second she entered their bedroom, she stared at the bed.

"What the hell?" she burst out when she noticed Gibbs cover and pillow were gone.

"I made up the bed in the guest bedroom, thought I'd sleep there until we get though with the divorce" he said and kissed her head before he left her alone in the bedroom.

"But…" Jen whispered after him. She felt the tears threatening to start running down her cheeks. Knowing there was no way she could make him come back, she undressed herself and put on one of his old NCIS t-shirts and brushed her teeth before climbing into bed. She pulled the cover tighter around her body, she was cold. She glanced at a framed photo standing on the tiny table next to her bed, their wedding photo. The Jenny and Jethro in the photo looked so happy as they stood with their arms wrapped around each other. Jen felt alone in the bed, and once they had divorced, this loneliness would be her only company at night. As she stared at the photo, old memories re-surfaced and caused a smile to linger on her lips. This was when she realized that it was not their love or affection for each other that failed them, it was trust and faith. Jenny figured, if she just reminded him of what he believed in, they could work this out. She had finally found some hope after all, she would save their marriage. She just needed to make him remember when he had told her about the meaning of being always faithful.

_Yes, will Jenny be able to save their marriage, or not? Will they find the trust and faith in each other that they need to mend their relation? Why was Gibbs so quick to give up on them?_

_So, please tell me what you think about this chapter. Thanks for reading and have a nice day… or night…or whatever!_

_Emma_


	3. Cold Dinner And Bourbon

The next morning, Jen got up unusually early. She had told her driver he was supposed to pick her up at 05.30, she had a lot of things to do at the office. But that was not the main reason why she had requested him to come so early. She knew Gibbs would wonder, not where she was, he would understand she was at the office, but he would wonder why she had gotten in so early and why she had not told him. At least that was what she wanted him to do. It was still pretty dark outside, but she dressed herself in an appropriate work outfit and fixed her hair and make-up before sneaking down the stairs to the kitchen. She didn't want to turn on the cofffee machine in case she would wake him up, so she would just have to wait with the coffee until she got to work. She checked her watch and realized it was almost time to go. Jenny hurried into her study to get her briefcase and her cell phone before putting on her coat and leaving the house, quietly closing the door behind her.

It was about noon, and Jenny was getting rather frustrated where she sat behind her desk in her office. She hadn't heard from her husband in the entire afternoon, and she started to believe he hadn't cared when he had found her bed empty this morning, when a knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts. She looked up, and saw Gibbs walking up to her desk.

"I have an incident report for you" he told her and put down a file in front of her. She briefly met his gaze before glancing down at the report.

"Thank you, I'll read it through later" she replied and leaned back in her chair and eyed him. Gibbs raised his eyebrows and met her gaze.

"What?" he asked and Jen couldn't hold back a sigh.

"Was that all you wanted to tell me?" she wondered, trying to keep her tone casual.

"Well, is there something you want me to say? Do you want me to wonder why you weren't home this morning?" he had seen right through her, and she realized it was no point in denying what she had tried to do.

"Yes, that's exactly what I want you to do" she chose to answer, and he smiled to himself.

"Ok, Jen. Why weren't you home this morning?" he asked, but his tone was slightly sarcastic, and Jen did not like it.

"Ok, this is ridiculus. This is not how it's supposed to be. Do you still not understand?"

"Understand what?"

"Never mind. I'll go through your report now" she said, not in the mood for this conversation just yet. Jenny put her glasses on and reached out for the file.

"No Jen. What don't I understand?" he tried again, refusing to leave her office until he found out what she was talking about.

"Not now. I have work to do, so can't we at least have this conversation at home, tonight?" she said with a sigh, and after giving him a look, she could tell she was getting on his nerves.

"So another talk? How many more of these talks are we gonna have before we conatct any lawyers?" he was trying to suppress the anger he felt, but didn't succeed very well in hiding it from her.

"We are gonna talk until we figure this situation out, Jethro" she said sternly, and for a brief second he actually admired her stubborness, even though it annoyed him beyond belief.

"Please, let's talk tonight. And if it doesn't work, I promise you we'll contact our divorce atterneys first thing tomorrow morning. I'm just asking you to give our marriage this last chance. Please Jethro" Jenny begged and when their eyes met, he saw how sincere she was, and how much she wanted them to do this.

"Fine, one talk" he agreed, and Jen gave him a tired smile.

"Thank you. Now if you don't mind, I really have to get back to work" she told him and he nodded.

"Yeah, me too. Give me a call when you're ready to go, will you?" he said as he walked over to the door. There he stopped and turned to look at her while waiting for her to answer him.

"Of course" she promised and he left her office without another word. What little hope that existed inside of her lit up again. Now she just needed to really think over how she was gonna play this game, everything depended on whether she could come up with the right words, something that she knew would get to him.

As Gibbs hurried down the stairs, he felt how messed up this situation was. His mind was just a blur, and the thoughts that was swirling around inside his head didn't make any sense to him at all. He thought he had been so sure a dicorce was just what they needed, but this morning, when he had gone in to make sure Jenny was awake, he had just felt so incredibly lonely when he realized she must have gone in to work earlier than usual. His own mixed feelings combined with her eager to keep them together made him even more confused about the situation. But regardless of what she had told him, he just knew they would not be happy together any more.

It was later in the afternoon, and Jenny had decided it was time to go home. Which meant she needed to call Gibbs and tell him she was ready to leave.

"Jethro, it's Jenny" she said into the phone when she heard him picking up "Are you ready to go home?"

"I'm sorry Jen" came his voice back, and she bit her lip while waiting for an explanation "Something's come up, a thing with the case that I need to take care of now"

Jenny closed her eyes and for the hundreth time wondered how this could be happening to them. But if it was about a case, then she understood it was important. "For how much longer do you think you'll be gone?" she asked in a low voice.

"I don't know. A couple of hours maybe. But you go home, and I'll met you there later" he replied and heard her trying to suppress a sigh. He chose not to comment on that.

"Fine, then I'll leave now and I guess I'll see you later" she struggled to keep her disappointment from her voice, but she had a feeling she was failing "Bye Jethro" she quickly finished the conversation and hung up before he had a chance to respond.

Three hours later, Gibbs pulled up his car on the drive way outside his and Jen's house. He sighed as he turned off the engine and stared up at the house. The windows were dark, except for the living room window, where he saw a faint light shine through the sheer curtains. He had been later than he had thought he would be, and he knew she would be annoyed with him. He got himself out of the car and hurried up up to the front door.

"Jen?" he called out as he shut the door behind him and took off his coat. No response. Gibbs sighed and walked toward the living where he had seen the light. On his way, he passed through the kitchen, and notcied a plate on the table and food in the casserols on the counter, probably ice-cold by now.

"Jenny?" he tried again as he reached the doorway to the living room. He found his wife sitting on the couch in the half-dark room, two glasses and a bottle of Bourbon standing on the table.

"I'm in here" she finally replied, avoiding to look at him.

"Yeah, I can see that" he stated and kept trying to meet her gaze.

"I hope you have eaten, because the dinner I made for you must be cold by now" she said in a low voice as she, still without looking at him, reached out and picked up her glass from the table.

"I've eaten" he confirmed "DiNozzo ordered chinese"

Jen shrugged and took a sip of her drink, and Gibbs could tell she was hurt.

"I didn't think I'd be so late" he apologised, but she didn't reply. He stood still in the doorway, waiting for her to ask him to come sit down.

"You could have called" Jenny finally said after a long silence.

"What for?" he wondered, because as far as he knew, he had already told her why he would be late.

"Because you knew how lonely I was. Isn't that why you always used to call me before when you were working late? You even called me every night when I was working in Europe just to make sure I wasn't feeling lonely. Whatever happened to that? When did you stop caring whether I was lonely or not?" her voice was soft, she wasn't showing any anger, yet, just hurt.

"I think you know damn well I never wanted you to be lonely, Jen" he shot back, but he was taken aback by her words, because he knew how true they were. She gave up a dry laugh.

"Right, then I guess you have no idea how lonely I have felt during these past three months, especially during the nights. But you didn't answer my question" Jen raised her head and daringly met his gaze, waiting for his answer. Gibbs met her eyes while trying to figure out where everything had gone wrong.

"I think you know I never stopped caring" he chose to answer, but his words made her shake her head.

"I don't know about that" she said and took her eyes off him as she put her glass back down onto the table and refilled it and at the same time poured some into the other glass. She pushed it across the table toward him. "Here"

Gibbs glanced at her before stepping up and picking up his glass "Thank you" he said quietly and took a sip from it. He sat down on the couch next to her, keeping his eyes on his drink as he spoke.

"Just so you know, I felt kind of lonely this morning when I noticed you were gone" he confessed to her, but she didn't respond.

"We shouldn't be this way" she said instead "This is not us. We are not the kind of couple that are having trouble communicating, we've never been. Come on Jethro, can you honestly tell me that you think a divorce is the right decision?" Jen asked and turned to face him. He was silent for about a minute, then he opened his mouth to speak.

"Yeah, Jen, I do" Gibbs answered, and when he glance at her, he saw a shocked and hurtful expression on her face. "I'm sorry Jen" he added, but she slowly rose from the couch and walked over to the window. She pulled the curtain aside and looked out into the dark October evening. She sadly shook her head as she felt her heart break as his words kept repeating themselves inside her head.

"But I don't. I won't do this Jethro" her voice was shaking violently as she spoke and she heard him sigh behind her.

"But we don't work together anymore" he said for what felt like the hundreth time.

"That is not our problem. Our problem is that we have let the fights we are having at work as Director and agent affect our personal life. I know that before we got married you told me you were afraid about mixing your personal and professional lives, but it was a risk we decided to take, because we knew it was worth trying" Jen turned away from the window to face him as she continued "Maybe what we need to do is to separate our personal and professional lives, figure out a way to leave our fights at the office, or learn how to not fight at all" she suggested and waited for him to respond. When he didn't say anything, just glanced at her before taking another sip from the Bourbon, she started to become frustrated with his behaviour. Jenny went back to him but instead of joining him on the couch, she sat down on the low table opposite him, she placed her hands on his knees as she leaned forward , forcing him to look up at her.

"I know you better you probably want me to know you" she stated, and he had to agree with that, which also made him a little curious to what she had come up with now that she was gonna use against him.

"Remember when you told me about the meaning of Semper Fi? You explained to me it meant 'always faithful', and you also explained the importancy of being faithful. On our wedding day you promised me you would always be faithful to me, you said that I was very special to you and that you would be a fool if you let me go without a fight. I have to say I agree with you; you are a fool if you are giving up on us, especially this easily. What happened to the fighting you were talking about?" when she silenced he had taken her eyes off her. He was surprised by how well she remembered his vows, he remembered telling her about being always faithful, but not that he had said he wouldn't let her go without fighting.

"I didn't remember that" he confessed and Jen straightened up her back and stared at him in disbelief.

"You don't remember you wedding vows?" she asked hurtful and absent-mindedly caressed her wedding ring with her left thumb.

"Not the entire thing" he admitted and Jen sighed heavily. She reached out and grabbed her glass. She thought for a little while before she broke the silence.

"I can resign from my Director's position" Jenny suddenly said and Gibbs' head shot up and he caught her eye, looking shocked "If it means saving our marriage, I would gladly resign"

"You can't resign! I know how you love being Director, I can't have you giving up everything you have fought so hard for just because of me. I can't allow you to do that" Gibbs burst out

"Well, not as much as I love you. You have always meant so much more to me than my job ever has, and you always will. And if me being Director is causing these fights between us..." she left the end of the sentence unspoken, but he understood what she meant.

Gibbs leaned back againt the couch and swirled his drink around in the glass while trying to figure out what to say.

Jen put down her drink and once again leaned forward and placed her hands on his thighs.

"So, what do we do?" she wondered and he looked up at her.

"I don't know, Jen" he answered and took a sip from his glass.

Jenny pressed her hands hard onto his thighs as she rose to her feet. Without saying a word she started to walk toward the doorway, but Gibbs' voice calling her name forced her to turn around.

"What?" she said angrily and glared at him.

"Where are you going?"

"So now you care, how sweet of you" she replied coolly, and Gibbs sighed.

"I understand if you're upset..." he started but never got the chance to finish his sentence.

"You're damn right I'm upset, Jethro!" she practically shouted before she hurried out through the kitchen.

"Jen!" he called after her and threw himself up from the couch and took off after her "Jen!"

He caught up with her in the foyer where he found her busy putting on her jacket.

"Jen, come on!" he begged her, but she just gave him an annoyed look.

"I can't do this anymore Jethro! I'm tired of being the only one who wants this marriage to work. I'm tired of you and your behaviour! And I'm definitely tired of missing you! I just want the old Jethro back. The Jethro I fell in love with, the Jethro I married. But you are not him, because I know he would never give up on us" Jen said softly and tucked her hair behind her ear. She glanced at him and then she walked to the front door.

"Where are you going?" he called after her, but she just slammed the door in his face.

"God" he sighed and rubbed his eyebrows with his left hand. He decided to let her take her time, she would come back eventually. But he still felt concern tugging at his heart. He had no idea where she might go, or what she might do. He walked back into the living room and sat down heavily on the couch, refilling his glass with Bourbon.

Meanwhile, Jen entered a bar a few miles away. She made her way through the crowd and finally reached the bar. It was noisy and there were a lot of people there, but she found an empty chair and managed to get the bartender's attention.

"Martini please" she ordered

"Coming right up" he answered and while she waited for her drink, she felt her cell phone vibrate in her pocket. She picked it up and saw her husband's name on the caller id. She looked at it for a second before disconnecting the call.

_How many drinks will Jen have that night? How does Gibbs react when she doesn't take any of her calls?_

_Please review and I hope you liked the chapter. I will update as soon as I can. Thanks for reading_

_Emma_


	4. Drunk and Confused

A woman stumbled out of a taxi, but quickly steadied herself as she began to walk up the drive way to her house. Damn, she had screwed up! Her cell phone rang, again. It had been going on all night. She fumbled to get it out of her pocket but the tiny object slipped through her fingers and fell to the ground.

"Damn it" she mumbled and bent down to pick it up. Without looking who was calling, she disconnected the call.

The front door to the Gibbs' house cracked open, and the woman slipped into the foyer. She was careful not to make any loud sounds, not wanting to wake her husband. But she failed when she accidentally knocked over a lamp sitting on a tiny table when she stumbled on the rug. It fell to the floor with a crash.

"Damn it" she cursed again under her breath. She glanced nervously up the stairs and listened carefully for any signs that he might have woken up by the sound. She spun around when she suddenly heard footsteps quickly approaching, coming from the living room behind her. Her heartbeats increased as she stood completely still in the darkness, waiting for the possible intruder to show himself. Her breath caught in her throat when the person appeared in the doorway, the lights coming from outside revealed his face to her.

"Jenny" he said as he reached out his hand to switch on the light. She blinked a few times to help her eyes adjust to the light.

"You almost scared the hell out of me, Jethro!" she burst out angrily and hung up her jacket on the coat hanger.

"I could say the same thing. Where the hell have you been, Jen?" Gibbs questioned, but as he noticed how she was swaying lightly back and forth, he started to get suspicious.

She didn't answer him, just tried to make her way into her study across the foyer. But mid-way a sudden dizziness came over her, forcing her to reach out her hand in order to grab hold of something. Only in this case, there were no objects she could reach. She stumbled against the wall as she immediately felt someone pulling her up, holding her upper arms in a firm grip. She raised her gaze and found herself looking into her husband's worried face.

"How much have you been drinking?" he wondered, his voice strong but full of concern.

"Let go of me" Jen replied angrily, she tried to push his hands off her, but he was stronger than her. She started to twist around in his grip, but he just tightened his grip around her arms "Let me go!"

"No, I won't" he said sternly and struggled to keep her still "Stand still damn it!"

Jen stopped trying to get away from him, and she daringly met his gaze.

"How much?" he asked again, and she considered her answer for a second.

"I had a couple of drinks" she admitted. Gibbs wouldn't take his eyes from hers, waiting for a more specific answer. When she refused to talk, he reminded her of why he was so appalled by the situation.

"You've had more than just a couple of drinks; you're drunk, Jen. And I have never seen you like this before. You're staring to scare me"

"Oh come on Jethro!" she said with a dry laugh "I have been drunk before. Remember how much fun we had?"

"Jen" he warned, his voice holding a dangerously threatening tone "This is not the right time to bring that up."

"No, I suppose you're right" she agreed and raised her eyebrows.

"Do you have any idea how damn scared I have been for you?" his tone was so serious that Jen had to close her eyes for a second, then she opened them again and met his gaze fearlessly

"No, but why don't you enlighten me?" she shot back rather coolly.

"Don't play stupid Jen, it doesn't suit you" he said and she once again tried to pull away from him.

"No, stay" he ordered calmly "I have been worried sick over you. Its 1 am, Jen. Did you honestly think I would be in bed asleep while you were out doing god-knows-what?"

"I didn't know what to think!" she burst out "This situation is just so…I don't know. Everything is so screwed up!" her previous anger re-surfaced, but she didn't struggle to escape him, she could feel the nausea coming up even when she was standing still and being held up by him.

"I know" he replied softly "Maybe you should get some sleep before we are having this conversation again" he suggested and Jen nodded once, but the movement made her even more dizzy.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go to bed now" she agreed and when she took a step back this time, his hands wasn't holding her back anymore. Without looking him in the eye, she turned around and walked toward the stairs.

Gibbs stood still in the middle of the foyer, watching her carefully as she walked away from him. He saw how she suddenly stumbled on the first step and fell helplessly, landing hard on the steps. He closed his eyes for a moment before he walked up to her and knelt beside her.

"You ok?" he asked carefully and stroked the hair out of her face so he could see her better.

"No, I'm not!" Jen hissed angrily, but added more softly "Can you help me?"

Gibbs placed his hands under her arms and lifted her up easily, raising her up on her feet on the floor in the foyer. He slid his arm around her waist, allowing her to lean against him as he slowly started to walk up the stairs with her. Jen relaxed a bit in his strong arms as he led her upstairs, she also started to calm down from her previous anger as she became dizzier. She looked up as she noticed they had reached their bedroom.

Gibbs stopped near the bed, and after taking one look at her he realized he probably should help her undress, she needed to sleep and the sooner she got to bed the better. Tomorrow she would be sober enough for them to have a real talk. With his arm still in a firm grip around her waist, he told her to lift her right leg.

"Why?" she questioned suspiciously.

"I have to take off your boots; I doubt you wanna sleep with them on, right?" he explained and she carefully lifted her leg a bit. He bent down, still holding on to her, and unzipped her low, high-heeled black boot and pulled it off.

"Okay, next shoe" he said and repeated the procedure when she had lifted her left leg. He straightened up and looked at her, his gaze travelling down to her pants.

"I'm just gonna take off your pants now, ok?" he said, but got no response from her, she just stood waiting for him to do it. Gibbs undid her grey pants with his free hand pushed them down over her hips. With her pants drawn down to her knees he gently sat her down on the bed and pulled them off her legs.

Jen didn't fight it when he started to undress her, she understood even in her drunken state he only wanted to help her, and she appreciated it. Her head was spinning and all she wanted to do was to sleep, but she knew her husband would tuck her to bed when she was ready.

"Arms up" he instructed and she slowly raised her arms over her head as he started to pull off her emerald green jumper, leaving her in only her panties and bra. Gibbs started to reach around her back to undo her bra. He leaned closer to her as he did so, when she suddenly drew her face forward and met his lips. He stopped in his movements and she quickly pulled away, her eyes closed.

"I'm sorry" she whispered and Gibbs couldn't help but to smile at how fragile and vulnerable she appeared as he undid her bra and let it slid off her.

Jen opened her eyes, realizing she was almost fully naked by now.

"I'm cold" she whispered and crossed her arms across her chest. She wasn't sure if she did it in order to try to cover herself from him or because she was freezing. She felt confused and lost in the situation, but figured she would have a better grip on what was happening tomorrow when she was sober. But for now she was just confused.

Gibbs went over to the chair where he had dumped her clothes and searched for whatever she had worn to bed last night. Underneath the clothing he found what appeared to be one of his old NCIS t-shirts. He understood she must have worn this last night, and brought it back to her.

"This ok?" he asked and she nodded "Alright then, arms up"

Jen reluctantly raised her arms again and allowed him to slip the t-shirt over her head. He carefully pulled her long hair out of the t-shirt and let it cascade down her back. She had her head lowered, not wanting to look into his eyes. But he put his hand under her chin and lifted up her head, forcing her eyes to meet his.

"Hey, we'll talk tomorrow" he promised her and she nodded "Let's get you in bed now, shall we?" he suggested and once again wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her up. He held her close as he pulled up her cover and slowly seated her back down on the bed. She quickly laid herself down, her head resting heavily on her pillow. He gently tucked the cover around her body and softly rubbed her upper arm.

"Do you want anything? An aspirin, or some water?" he wondered, but she shook her head.

"No, thank you" she answered.

"Ok, just thought I'd ask" he said and started to turn away, but her voice calling his name made him face her again.

"Yes, Jen?"

"Are you still gonna sleep in the guest room?" she asked, her voice shaking slightly. He couldn't tell whether she wanted him to sleep in there or not.

"That depends on where you want me" he chose to answer, causing her to smile slightly.

"Can you sleep in here?"

"Of course, let me just get my stuff" he told her and gave her a smile before he walked off to the living room to get his cover and pillow. When he returned he stopped in the doorway, looking at her as she had already fallen asleep. He made his bed quickly, changed into another one of his old NCIS t-shirts and sweat pants and laid down onto the bed, pulling the cover over himself. He moved closer to Jen, her back was toward him, but he slid his arm around her waist, the cover between his arm and her body. He had a sudden urge to be closer to her, to snuggle up against her and feel the warmness of her body. But he satisfied himself with placing a kiss on the back of her head.

"Good night Jenny" he whispered and closed his eyes in exhaustion from having been up all night, anxiously waiting for her to come home. It wasn't too long until he surrendered to sleep as well, entering a dream world that brought him back to Paris, when the two of them had been nearly inseparable and their love as fresh and beautiful as the sunrise. He smiled in his sleep as he in vision saw her stand in front of him, sliding a ring onto his finger, a huge smile playing on her lips, and he felt how happy he had been when she had declared her eternal love for him, promising to stay with him until death parted them…

_What will happen the morning after? Will Jen still be angry with him, or is she ready to forgive and stand by her wedding vows? Has Gibbs changed his mind regarding the divorce, __or does he still think it would be best for them to go their separate ways?_

_That's it for now, but will update as soon as I can, as usual! Thanks for reading and please review!!!_

_Take care,_

_Emma_


	5. Nightmares and Faith

Jen heard her name being called through the dimness of sleep. She knew someone was trying to wake her up, but that was the last thing she wanted to do right now. The voice suddenly stopped, and she returned to her deep slumber and entered a dream.

_She was walking along a path leading through a wood. It was beautiful; the sun was shining through the ceiling of leaves above her and shimmered around her. She smiled to herself as she kept walking through this wonderful forest. Grass, flowers and small bushes grew between the trunks of the trees and birdsong was heard. She kept walking and admired the stunning picture in front of her, when she suddenly reached what looked like a portal__ where two trees on either side of the path had almost grown together, their branches intertwined over the path. She walked up to the portal and looked through it; it looked exactly the same on the other side. Without hesitation she walked through it, but the instant she had passed through, everything changed abruptly. It immediately became darker and she was surrounded by tall, dead trees whose branches reached up toward a dark, starless sky. She spun around, only to find the portal gone, and behind her was the same that was in front of her, dead trees and a long, winding path. Her blood froze as she heard a cold, creepy voice call her name. She was scared, and once again spun around when she heard something crack somewhere deep inside the forest. "Oh god" she whispered and started to run in the opposite direction of the sound. "Jenny!" her name echoed through the dead forest and she ran faster, trying desperately to find another portal that could lead her away from this awful place. Suddenly she felt an ice-cold hand grip her shoulder. She screamed…_

"Jenny!" Gibbs called out, shaking her slightly as he tried to wake her up. But she kept twisting and throwing herself around in her bed. Her forehead was covered in sweat and her face expressed pure horror.

"Jen!" he tried again started to shake her a little more violently. She suddenly opened her eyes, her breathing was heavy and she looked terrified when her eyes found his.

"Are you ok?" he asked, his voice full of concern. She took him completely by surprise when she abruptly sat up and threw her arms around his neck.

"Thank God it's you" she breathed as she felt his arms sliding around her waist.

"Did you have a nightmare?" he asked when she pulled away, and she nodded and slowly laying herself down again "What happened?"

"I…I was walking through a beautiful forest, and…then it all just…changed. It became a dark, dead forest" her voice broke, but she gathered herself and managed to continue the story "Someone called my name…I…I ran…I was just so scared…" she closed her eyes, but flinched as Gibbs reached out his hand to touch her shoulder. She looked at him again and saw him withdrew his hand from her.

"I'm sorry, just…whatever that was hunting me did that, I just reacted…" she began explaining, but he cut her off.

"I understand. But it's ok now, Jen. It was just a nightmare" he told her "And I'm here for you"

At his last words, Jen frowned, it had been a while since he had said that, but she suddenly didn't know how she felt about it. She rose up into a sitting position again, slowly sliding backwards until she could rest her back against the bed frame.

"I brought you coffee" Gibbs said and held out a cup for her. She accepted it and took a sip of the hot liquid, it's strong but familiar aroma helping her focus on the memories of what had happened last night. She suppressed the nightmare as she flashed back to everything that had happened. She glanced at Gibbs who was still sitting on the edge of her bed; he was dressed in his usual grey pants and jacket with a darker grey cotton shirt underneath.

"What time is it?" she wondered

"0600" he answered and took a sip from his own coffee "We need to talk. About last night"

"I remember"

"Jenny" he sighed "What do we do?"

"I don't know, I don't even know what I want anymore" she said with a small laugh "Oh Jethro, I'm sorry about what I did last night…" she started, but he held up his hand to stop her apologies.

"I know you are"

"Right…" she said and stared down into her cup of coffee. She was still feeling a bit mad at him, she remembered the fight they had had before she went to the bar, she remembered she had hoped her words would make him change his mind, especially the part about Semper Fi, but he had still wanted to divorce. Now she started to believe that maybe their time was up, maybe he had been right all along…

They sat in silence, both waiting for the other to start talking; neither knew if the other had changed their mind. Gibbs looked at her where she sat curled up, her gaze on her coffee. He wondered what she was thinking about, wondered if he should bring up the conversation. Last night, first when she had been away, and then when she had gotten home drunk, he had known what he wanted to do, but obviously the daylight had brought with it the doubt he had felt before. He wasn't sure anymore what the right thing to do was.

Jen raised her gaze, only to find Gibbs staring at something on her bedside table. She followed his gaze and found their wedding photo. When she studied his eyes she detected a hint of longing. He did not notice she was watching him, and she figured he was way back in the past, probably re-living one of the many memories they shared. She looked back at the picture, seeing how the younger Jen looked up at her new husband with a huge smile on her face, her love for him so obvious in her eyes. The Gibbs in the photo looked just as happy as his wife, one of his arms wrapped around her waist and his other hand was holding onto hers.

Jen found herself to be jealous of the younger couple, the passion they had, and most importantly their faith. How would they find that again? How would they be able to go back to what they had been, if they didn't know how to find it? Deep inside, were they still the same couple as the one in the photo, just with a different surface? Maybe the way things appeared, and the way things truly were, was not the same thing.

"I love that photo" she suddenly said, causing Gibbs to snap out of the memories. He glanced at her and noticed she too was looking at their wedding photo.

"Yeah, me too" he agreed with a sigh.

"But still… I'm still upset with you. I tried everything last night, every argument I could think of, but you didn't give in. I just don't know what else to do. In a relationship, sometimes it's just not enough that one person is fighting. I think both have to try, and I've done what I can. It's up to you whether we save us or not" Jen sounded almost defeated as she spoke. She didn't want to lose him, but she refused to fight for a lost cause. She refused to embarrass herself by keep coming up with useless arguments and clinging onto him and appear desperate.

"I know, and I have been thinking, a lot actually. Last night when you were gone, I stayed up, I was worried about you. Right then, everything you had said made sense, but now…" he began, but she cut him off

"I just need to ask you something" she started to get frustrated, why couldn't he just make up his mind and stick with it? "Why did you give up on us so easily?" she took another sip of her coffee and daringly met his gaze. This was something she had been thinking about last night at the bar. She knew from experience, he wasn't one to give up, she knew him as a fighter, a marine.

Gibbs ran his fingers through his hair. He knew he had been quick to agree to the divorce, but he just wanted her to be happy. But she had made it very clear these couple of days that she was happy as long as she was with him, the way they had been before. So what was it that had made him give up?

"It just felt…" he started and broke eye-contact with her, the intensity in her eyes was too much for him "Something changed, with us. We changed"

"What the hell are you talking about?" she replied coolly.

"You changed" he shot back and raised his gaze and met her burning eyes again. He noticed she looked very surprised and almost shocked by the accusation, he made it sound like it was all her fault.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"When you became Director…" he didn't have the chance to finish his sentence, because Jen cut him off furiously.

"Are you gonna hold that against me now? Just for the record, you have chanced too!" she burst out, her tone of voice angry and cold.

"Just let me finish!" Gibbs called out; he hated it that she always interrupted him. Jen took a deep breath to calm herself and gestured for him to go on.

"Thank you" he replied a bit sarcastically before continuing "When you became Director, our marriage just seemed to be so different. And I'm not talking about the fights, I'm talking about you. You weren't the funny, loving, exciting Jen I used to know. You changed; you became Director even after work hours. You were either too busy with work you had brought home or you had a meeting early in the morning so you had to go to sleep as soon as you got home. We didn't have time for each other, and that's when it all started to fall apart" he silenced and Jen had broke eye-contact when he spoke. She knew he had a point, she had been a bit obsessive with work, but she hadn't understood he had seen her like that.

Gibbs watched her for a while, and when he understood she would not say anything, he went on "You started to shut me out, focusing entirely on you work" That part he added just to get some sort of reaction from her, and she abruptly looked up at him.

"I didn't shut you out. I tried to find time for us, but you changed too. You started spending more and more time in the basement, working on whatever you're doing down there" she replied before they both went quiet for a while again.

"I said last night," Jen began softly "that I miss the old Jethro. You really have changed too, maybe more than you like to think. You gave up, and that's not the Jethro I know. The Jethro I married never gave up; he never lost his faith in us and our marriage"

Gibbs once again glanced at the wedding photo, knowing she was right. He suddenly felt like he had failed her, he realized he could have confronted her about her Director style earlier, then maybe they would never have ended up in this situation.

"You're right" he finally admitted "I'm sorry. But if I can change back, so can you"

Jen watched him, she could tell he was being sincere, and she knew he missed her as much as she missed him.

"Okay" she replied and he raised his eye brows "I will try to bring back the old Jen, if you become the Jethro that taught me the meaning of being always faithful"

"You're already coming back" he said "You fought for us; you believed we deserved a second chance. You are stubborn, and you didn't give up"

"So, how do we find our way back to each other?" she asked, but she was already feeling more comfortable in his presence than she had felt in a long time. Maybe it was because they had the most honest conversation they had had in months.

"How about we go on a date tonight? Forget about work or early meetings. Just spend some time together" he suggested and reached out and took her hand in his.

"That sounds…like along time ago. We haven't been out in ages" she said, but couldn't keep the smile off her face.

"Is that a yes?" Gibbs questioned teasingly, it had been a long time since she had heard him use that tone with her.

"It is" she replied softly and with their eyes still locked together they leaned closer to each other and met in a tight hug.

Jen closed her eyes and buried her face in his neck, inhaling his scent and enjoying the warmness of his body.

Gibbs felt her hair tickle his face, but he was just so glad to have her in his arms again.

"I have to get ready for work" she said with a small laugh. Gibbs reluctantly let go of her.

"Ok, you get dressed and I'll wait downstairs" he said and she nodded in agreement. Gibbs leaned forward and left a soft kiss on her lips before he walked out of the room, leaving her still sitting in the bed. Jen looked after him as he went, a smile playing on her lips as she realized they had found their long lost faith.

_So, next chapter will be the date. I hope you liked the chapter and I hope you will review. Thank you so much for reading!_

_Take care,_

_Emma_


	6. Candlelit Dinner and Hot Kisses

The water from the showerhead cascaded down her body, soaking and warming her skin. She sighed and closed her eyes as she put her head under the spray of water. While pulling her fingers through her long, red hair she thought briefly about what she was going to wear. Strangely enough, Jenny Gibbs was slightly nervous about her date, with her husband. It had been so long since they had gone out together, and with everything they had gone through these past months, she feared they had drifted further apart than they wanted to realize. She reached out after the bottle of shampoo, and while she was busy rinsing it out of her hair, a loud knock on the bathroom door caught her attention.

"Jenny?" her husband's voice travelled through the locked door, she barely heard him though, most of his voice was suffocated by the pouring of water. But she had picked up on the sound.

"I'm in the shower!" she called back and reached for her shower gel.

"Ok, just thought I'd let you know I'm home" he answered. Jen didn't respond immediately, and he did not repeat himself.

"Thanks" she replied several minutes later, she wasn't even sure he was still out there.

"You're welcome" she was surprised to hear him answer, but she was glad he hadn't left. "I'll start getting ready. We should probably leave in about forty-five minutes" he continued and she nodded subconsciously.

"Ok, I'll hurry then" she finished and assumed he walked off. She was excited about the date, and curious to know what would become of their marriage.

Jenny turned off the water and reached for a towel as she stepped out of the shower cabin. She quickly got herself dry and wrapped the towel around her hair and put on a thigh-length, silky lilac robe. She fixed her make-up and dried her hair with a hair-drier. She emerged from the bathroom and the first thing she saw when she entered the bedroom was her husband busy putting on a dark grey shirt. He turned around when he heard her approaching.

"Hi" he said and finished buttoning his shirt.

"Hey" she greeted him back and glanced briefly at him, his jacket lay on the bed along with his tie. Of course Jenny was happy that they were about to work everything out, but at the same time, it all felt so new.

"You ok?" his question pulled her from her thoughts, and she managed to meet his gaze.

"Yeah, I'm fine" she assured him with a slight smile as she walked towards her closet.

"Good" he replied and bent down to pick up his tie. Jenny stood in front of the dresses in her closet, trying to decide which one she should wear.

Gibbs announced he'd be waiting for her downstairs and left her alone to get ready in private. He was positive in the situation; a romantic evening and a chance to make up for lost time was probably exactly what they needed right now. He checked himself out in the mirror down in the foyer. Well, he might not be perfect, but it was the best he could do. He went to sit down in an armchair in her study while he waited for his wife to descend the stairs.

At last he was rewarded in his waiting with the cracking sound of someone walking down the stairs. He rose from his comfortable seat and went out into the foyer again, just in time that when he looked up the stairs, he saw her coming down. He was stunned by her appearance, she looked absolutely beautiful.

Jenny stopped a few feet away from him, her eyebrows raised slightly as she noticed the look on his face. He eyed her from top to toe, taking in every detail of her outfit. She wore a knee-length, silvery-white dress in a silky material with a deep v-cut in the front. Her hair was loose and her natural curls cascaded over her shoulders and down her back. She wore a thin silver chain around her neck, with a pale blue gemstone at the bottom, and matching earrings.

"I take it you like my dress, Jethro" she said softly in response to the appreciative look he gave her. He didn't answer, just gazed lovingly at her. Jenny suddenly reached out her hands to fix his tie, which she thought looked a little out of order.

"Never get those things straight, do I?" he said lightly as she moved her hands to his shoulders.

"Nope" she replied with a smile. She could see in his bright blue eyes he was excited about tonight, and she couldn't help but to share his excitement.

"Shall we go?" he suggested and when she turned around to receive her coat, he noticed the dress was open to reveal her entire back, the deep cut ended slightly above her butt. The dress hung loosely on her body, it rippled when she moved. Gibbs' gaze was like glued to her naked back.

"I do like your dress" he added under his breath and she turned around to face him with a smile. She found him still gazing up and down her body.

"I'm glad you like it" she answered while putting on a black coat and handing him his coat. He accepted it and thanked her as he too quickly put it on. They walked to the car in silence, neither knowing how to start a conversation between them.

"So…" Jenny awkwardly started as they were stopped at a traffic light. "How was your day?" she hadn't known what else to ask him, she wasn't sure what would be expected of her tonight.

"It was alright" he answered and quickly glanced at her "But hopefully it'll get better" he added and reached out to briefly caress her hand. Jenny felt the shy touch against her skin, and from the spot he had touched a certain warmth seemed to spread through her body, it burned her every nerve and seemed to rush through her veins right into her heart. She felt herself smiling as they took off again, it had been a long time since his touches had made her feel like that, but it was a good sign. A sign that told her she was still very much in love with him.

"What are you smiling at?" Gibbs asked suspiciously. Jenny turned her head to look at him, his eyes were focused on the road ahead, but he'd give her glances every now and then.

"Nothing" she answered, still smiling. She knew it would drive him crazy that she refused to tell him, but she loved to play games on him, only she had nearly forgot how much fun she used to have at his obvious frustration when there was something she would not tell him. As he once again glanced at her, she detected a hint of annoyance in his eyes and she bit back a laugh.

"Fine then, keep it to yourself. But don't count on me to pay the dinner" he shot back in a light voice. He knew she was annoying him on purpose, she always did. He felt her eyes still burning his cheek, his heartbeats increased slightly at the sense, but he tried his hardest to keep his focus on the road and the traffic around him. Jenny stayed silent, but the smile was still playing on her face, she could tell he became more curious to why she was smiling every time he'd glance at her, but he held his tongue. They spent the rest of the ride in a comfortable silence. He had mended her simply by touching her. Feeling better than she had done in a long time, she got out of the car along with her husband.

Gibbs quickly walked around the car to join her where she stood waiting for him. He held out his arm to her and, still smiling, she accepted it and gently placed her hand on his elbow. Together they walked into the fancy restaurant they had picked out for their special date. They left their coats in the wardrobe just inside the doors, and were escorted by a waitress to their table. As they followed the young waitress, Gibbs put his hand on Jenny's back, feeling her warm, naked skin under his fingers.

When they reached their table, Gibbs pulled out a chair for her. With a small smile she gracefully sat down and waited for him to take his seat opposite her. Once they were sat down, the waitress handed them their menus.

"Here are your menus, I'll be back to take your orders in a little while" she announced and left them alone. Jenny looked around in the restaurant before she opened up her menu. It was a beautiful place; she and Gibbs used to go here on special occasions, like birthdays and wedding anniversaries.

"There are a lot of people here tonight" she observed; almost every table was taken. Gibbs looked up from his menu.

"Yeah, sure is" he agreed and gazed at her. The candles on their table made her dress shimmer incredibly and her hair almost looked like flames. She was stunning and he didn't really want to take his eyes off her.

"What are you having?" she asked. He quickly returned his gaze to the menu and frowned a little.

"I'm not sure…" he said thoughtfully. Jenny raised her eyebrows and put down her menu.

"Yes, you are Jethro. You'll have the usual, won't you?" she said with a little laugh. He looked up at her and smiled.

"If you say so"

"I'll have the same" she told him and rose from her chair. Gibbs looked surprised at her movement.

"Where are you going?" he wondered curiously.

"Ladies room. Be right back" she excused herself and walked off. Gibbs looked after her, noticing he was not the only one. A few men turned their heads in her direction as she passed by their tables, but they all received evil glares from their wives. One of the men, however, accidentally managed to meet Gibbs gaze. Gibbs gave him a killing glare, causing the man to look away instantly.

The waitress came, and he ordered for both of them. Just as she came back with their wine, Jenny returned. She sat back down and when the waitress had left them again, Gibbs suggested they'd taste the wine. They both lifted their glasses, staring deeply into each others eyes as they clinked their glasses together. Jenny did not take her eyes off him as she slowly sipped her wine.

"It was good" Gibbs commented the wine, and Jenny agreed, it was indeed a good wine. She took her eyes from his as she felt his hand on hers. Her wedding ring glistened in the candle light and he slowly stroked his index finger over the silver ring. When she glanced up at his face she noticed he was looking at their hands, but she continued to watch him in silence. He looked great, as usual. Suddenly, his face broke into a smile and the soft caressing on her hand stopped.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked him. He looked up at her again; his bright blue eyes met hers. He studied her carefully with his eyes, like if he saw her for the very first time.

"You're beautiful, Jen" he told her, and she felt her cheeks blush at the compliment. But before she had chance to reply, he brought her hand to his lips. Jenny smiled sweetly as he kissed the back of her hand, his eyes never leaving hers. He left two soft kisses on her skin, each sending shivers through her body. He gently placed her hand back onto the table, but before he could withdraw his hand, she had intertwined her fingers with him, intentionally stopping him from removing his hand. He looked slightly surprised at first, but then his face once again broke into a smile.

"Thank you" she answered weakly, her heart was still racing after the touch.

"Is that dress new?" he asked and frowned slightly as he looked carefully at the part of the dress he could see over the table.

"I bought it a few weeks ago to wear at a dinner at the White House" she answered.

"Oh, I've just never seen it before"

"You have. I showed it to you before I went to the dinner. You said it was nice" she noticed he looked a bit uncomfortable, his eyes narrowed a little, but he did not look away.

"I didn't remember" he said in a low voice. Jenny's smile had faded, but she didn't pull away her hand from his.

"Obviously" she shot back and winced, her tone of voice had been colder than she had expected it to be.

"Hey," he said "if I just said your dress was nice, I wasn't really looking at it. It's amazing, Jenny. You are amazing"

Jenny felt the smile return to her lips, but she did not say anything. They sat in silence, their gazes locked together and their fingers intertwined, until the waitress came with their food.

"Thank you" Jenny said to her as she placed a plate in front of her. She withdrew her hand from Gibbs' as he also received his plate. She looked down at her food as the waitress left them; it looked delicious, as always.

They started to eat in silence, neither knowing what to talk about. Gibbs glanced at his wife every now and then, but just as he was about to open his mouth to speak, she spoke.

"Jethro," she started tentatively, causing his to fix his eyes upon her face "Do you regret that we never had kids?" she asked him and met his gaze.

"Yes" he answered without hesitation and she sent him an apologetic glance.

"Yeah, me too. I'm sorry"

Gibbs looked surprised at hearing her apologise, but she really did look like she was sorry, but he couldn't figure out why.

"What are you talking about, Jen? Why are you sorry?" he asked. She took a sip of wine before she answered.

"Because I left" she said sadly and her mind flashed back in time. Gibbs remembered too.

They had been married for about three years when they had decided that they would try to get her pregnant. After two failed attempts she was assigned on a mission in Europe. She had been desperate to go, but Gibbs had not been so sure he wanted her to. He told her that if she got pregnant, they would not let her do field work, she would have been assigned at NCIS headquarters instead. But Jen had been persistent, she wanted to put their attempts at having a real family on hold, and dedicate the next months to work. He had finally given in, and she went away for six months, only coming home twice. Her work in Europe had been extraordinary and she had been wanted for an anti-terrorism operation together with Mossad Officer Ziva David. Once again she left. When she had gotten back after that mission, they tried to focus on finding their way back to each other; this separation had been rather hard on their marriage, but they quickly mended what had been broken. Work still took up a lot of their time, her outstanding work had led to promotions, and suddenly she was Director. Then further problems had followed.

"But you wanted to leave" he replied softly after re-living the memories of their past.

"I know, but it didn't mean that didn't want to have kids with you" she knew explaining all this was unnecessary, he already knew how she had felt.

"I know, I know we both wanted it" he assured her "I'm not blaming you. I never could, or wanted to, for that matter, control you" he added with a small smile, but Jenny did not smile.

"We should have…before I became Director we should have had a child" she said sadly. Gibbs reached out and took her hand.

"And then what?" he questioned and she frowned confused. "We had no time for a child. Hell, we barely had time for ourselves! Much as I would love to have had a child…there was no time" he explained softly. Jenny felt how his words made sense, but she still believed it could have worked. She opened her mouth as to speak, but no words came over her trembling lips. She abruptly shut her mouth again, took a few deep breaths and then tried again.

"Time…" she gave up a small laugh "Time passes awfully quickly, doesn't it? I know I've been away a lot…" her voice trailed off, but Gibbs finished her sentence.

"But we still have many years ahead of us" he said and Jenny raised her eyebrows, looking happily amused. "And now when you're Director, you're not going anywhere"

"Yeah, well it's too late to have a child now. Work still takes up too much time" she sighed and lowered her gaze to their hands.

"I know. But at least we have each other" he said wisely and she nodded without looking at him.

"We have that" she repeated.

"It's not your fault we never had kids. I don't want you to think that, Jen. We had time before, but none of us picked up on the opportunity." Gibbs assured her, and she met his gaze. He almost lost himself in her loving, but finally managed to get his focus back.

"Thanks" she replied sweetly and he smiled at her. He squeezed her hand gently before releasing it and returning to his dinner. They finished their meal in silence, occasionally they'd glance up at the same time, meeting each others gaze, causing them both to smile widely.

Gibbs sipped his wine while waiting for her to finish her dinner. He watched her over his glass as he briefly wondered what the night would lead them. One thing that was for sure was that he felt more connected to her now than he had in months. Even though they had not spoken much, there was a certain understanding between them that hadn't been there for a very long time. He couldn't help but to think about their latest conversation, about never having a child. Surely she would have made a perfect mother to his child, but what he had not told her was that there was a certain fear inside of him that had kept his from suggesting it sooner. He was still afraid of loss, though he did not doubt he would be able to protect Jenny and a child, but still… the fear and pain was always present in him, more real to him than it would ever be to Jenny. He hadn't told her about Shannon and Kelly, the pain and fear she would never understand; he didn't want her to understand either. But the joy and immense happiness a child brought he had always wished for her to experience, but that ship had unfortunately already sailed.

"What are you thinking about?" Jenny's voice pulled him from his thoughts and he looked up at her noticing she had put down her silverware on her plate and was now watching him carefully.

"You" he replied, which was partly true, but he didn't want to bring up the subject of a child again. She smiled lovingly at him. As she met his gaze, she found his eyes enchanting her. Their deep blue color was stunning, and the depth in his eyes seemed immense. She felt as though she was filled with heated emotions and an incredible desire for him.

She shook her head slightly to clear her head. When she looked back at him, he was laughing lightly.

"You ok? You looked a bit…distracted" he teased and she felt herself blush.

"I'm fine" she assured him when she dared to speak again, once she hoped her voice would not shake. "Actually…" she added thoughtfully "I'm more than fine" she gave him another sweet smile "And a little tired"

"You wanna go home?" he offered and she nodded. Gibbs asked for the check and while they waited he wondered if she had said she was tired because she wanted out of here, and continue the date at home… Just the sight of her made his heart race increase and he felt the desire for her build up inside him. He missed her kisses and her touches, he missed her soft voice whispering in his ear, he missed the way she curled up against him at night. In other words; he missed her.

"I've missed you, Jen" he suddenly let his thoughts out. Jenny looked up at him, surprised but with a spark glittering happily in her eyes.

"I've missed you too" she replied with a smile "I've had a great time, Jethro"

'_Don't let the date be over!' _Gibbs mind screamed, but he kept his face straight as he nodded in agreement "Yeah, me too"

The waitress returned with their bill, they paid and rose from their chairs. Gibbs grabbed Jenny's hand as they together walked through the restaurant to the wardrobe to receive their coats.

On the way back to the car, Gibbs wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to him; Jenny slid her arm around his waist. When they reached the car Gibbs turned her toward him and before she could do anything, he gently pressed his lips against hers. She felt his lips on her own; it was a sweet feeling, over far too soon as Gibbs pulled away reluctantly, uncertain if she had appreciated the gesture. When he looked at her, he noticed her eyes were still closed. Her eyelids fluttered open when he didn't kiss her again, and she stared up at him. Without a word she pulled him back until she felt his lips again. She gave him a deep, romantic kiss before she withdrew her head.

"Let's go" she said hoarsely to her smiling husband. Without further words she climbed into the front seat of their car; Gibbs quickly joined her inside the car in the driver's seat.

On their way home, Jenny tried furiously to make up her mind regarding if she wanted the date to continue at home or not.

When they reached their house, Jenny quickly got out of the car, still without having made up her mind. She unlocked the door and stepped inside, Gibbs was right behind her.

They took off their coats in silence and started to make their way up the stairs. Gibbs walked behind Jenny, his gaze was glued to her naked back and he watched in amazement how the dress rippled when she walked. When they entered their bedroom, Jenny walked to the chest of drawers; on top of it she kept her jewellery. She took off her necklace and was busy with her earrings when she felt hands her husband approaching her from behind. Gibbs placed his hands on her hips; he bent down his head to kiss her neck and shoulder. Jenny tilted her head a bit; allowing him to explore her neck with is mouth. Gibbs smiled against her skin, glad she hadn't pushed him away.

Jenny's mind was still working hard in order to try and figure out if she was up for this.

Gibbs gently turned her around, placing his warm hands on her bare back. He hungrily covered her mouth with his, kissing her forcefully but passionate, and his joy was immense when he felt her kissing back. He quickly slipped his hand underneath her dress along her sides, touching and caressing her soft skin. Jenny pulled her fingers through his hair and she kissed him with passion. She was aware of his hands, but nevertheless enjoyed the touches. She felt his hands wander up her back, and slowly started to pull off her dress. Jenny broke the kiss and pulled away from him.

"Jethro" she panted, placing her hands on his chest as to keep him from pulling her back.

"You don't want to?" he tried to keep his disappointment from his voice, but failed. Jenny shook her head and Gibbs hands slid back down to the small of her back as he sighed.

"Ok, I'm sorry" he said and met her gaze; trying to look apologetic, but had a feeling he failed that too. Jenny couldn't help but to smile at him.

"Don't apologize, especially not after those kisses" she replied. Her smile faded as she continued "I just don't think I can tonight"

"Whatever you want" he assured her and gently placed a kiss on her forehead.

"But know that I love you" she whispered

"Yeah, I love you too" he replied and hugged her tightly. Jenny placed her head on his shoulder while they hugged. They stood close together for several minutes, until she finally pulled away. She silently turned around again and pulled out the second drawer and picked up a silky nightgown. She could still feel Gibbs' hands on her hips, but he slowly withdrew them as he turned away from her. Jenny walked into the bathroom to get ready.

Gibbs looked after her as she went, and he sighed as she disappeared from his sight. In a way he was surprised, she wasn't usually the type to turn him down like this. _'Maybe she thinks it feels a bit awkward; we have slept together only once since she became Director…' _he thought, but wasn't sure if he believed himself. He got undressed and put on sweatpants and a t-shirt to sleep in. Jenny emerged from the bathroom, dressed in a pale blue silky nightgown. She gave him a weak smile as she passed him. He headed toward the bathroom, but turned around in the door way and looked back at her. He watched her climbing into bed, her red hair spread across the pillow when she laid her head down. He walked off.

Jenny lay still awake when he returned; she appeared to be waiting for him. He hurried to his side of the bed and lay down on his back. She curled up beside him; placing her head on his chest, directly above his heart. One of her arms was draped over his belly.

"Jethro, I really had a good time tonight" she had said it before, but she felt like she needed to say it again.

"Me too" he replied "Well, good night Jen" he added and kissed the top of her head.

"Yeah, good night Jethro" she said softly and raised her head to place a kiss onto his lips.

Gibbs turned over, his back toward her, and closed his eyes to go to sleep. He felt her arms slip around his waist as she moved closer to his back. He enjoyed the closeness; glad she wasn't acting a total stranger. Because according to him, they were now doing better than they had in a very, very long time, and he felt genuinely happy. Then he felt something that made his heart beat faster; Jenny placed soft kisses on his neck. He abruptly opened his eyes, thinking he had just imagined the feeling. Then he felt it again, soft lips against his skin.

"Jenn-mmm!" her name turned into a loud moan as she hit the spot in his neck that always made him go crazy.

"Yes, Jethro?" she answered, sounding very amused at the affect she had on him. She took his earlobe between her teeth, biting it gently as she waited for an answer from her beloved husband.

"I thought…I thought you didn't want to-" his voice trailed off.

"I changed my mind" she whispered seductively into his ear and pulled him down on his back and climbed on top of him. She kissed him with full force and he wrapped his arms tightly around her and rolled them over, leaving him on top.

Later that night, they lay close in the bed, their discarded clothes scattered on the floor. Jenny rested her head on his chest, directly above his heart, her favourite place to rest. Gibbs had his arm wrapped around her warm body.

"Jethro, do you know what I think?" Jenny suddenly asked, without moving her head.

"No, Jen. I do not" he replied lightly and slowly rubbed her upper arm.

"I think…" she started and lifted her upper body so she was facing him. The street lights shining in through the window lit up her face slightly, her hair was messy but her eyes were sparkling brightly, she was beautiful. "I think we've just found our way back to a happy marriage" she said and leaned in and kissed him romantically. When she pulled away, she met his gaze.

"Really? I didn't notice…" he joked and pulled her back for another heated kiss.

"I love you" Gibbs said the next time she pulled away. Jenny did not answer immediately, but laid herself down comfortably, placing her head on his chest, directly above his heart.

"I love you too" she replied and fell asleep listening to the safe and calm sound of his heartbeats.

_**The End**_

_So, this is the end of Always Faithful.__ Long chapter, I know :) But, I have two sequels that I'm gonna write to this story. So keep your eyes open if you are interested!_

_Thank you all for reading, and please, please review!!_

_Take care,_

_Emma_


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